Years later, Judas still has a strained relationship with his mother, who we find out has struggled to moved forward following the death of her husband. As she reveals her vulnerability to Judas, he begins to see and understand her at deeper levels. Judas and his mother both reflect codependent traits, but as she comes to terms with her life and failings she begins to be more present to him. Her renewed vitality and warmth are rooted in her faith, which is the same place from which Judas originally sensed only coldness. Though he still hasn't come to fully understand, he has finally found a stable relationship with his mother.
The structure of the piece is to show the contrast of the resolution of his relationship with his mother to the misfortunes of his first romantic relationship. He brings his codependent tendencies to that relationship and sees his failure in being what Maria demands of him to be a flaw in his character, another instance of misplaced guilt. Only when Judas starts to look at his own needs does he see the relationship for what it really is, which reveals the true reason for the disconnect between Maria and himself.
lyrics
Part 3 - For You, For Me
She claimed she wasn’t ashamed of me,
But she wasn’t kind to herself.
Day to day, she wasn’t kind at all.
Did she resent that I missed that call?
I did.
The years that followed seemed to multiply her age.
I saw lines carved in her face,
Brokenness.
She seemed gentler now, softer and warmer,
As if her heart finally was returning home.
She wanted my forgiveness
For never holding it together.
“What kind of mother was I?
Afraid to commit a sin?
Afraid for you father?
I’m afraid I have failed.”
But I apologized too.
She despaired that the will of her god
Had revealed itself so.
But she asked for his forgiveness as well.
Her faith seemed to grow with her kindness,
Which made little sense to me.
But she was there.
I split my devotion
Between my mother and my lover.
Two years with Maria,
Too much devotion to her,
Who seemed right at the time.
She wanted what’s best for us.
Her resolve grew each time we fought,
Which made little sense to me.
She resented my resistance.
Wasn’t I prepared to start our family?
What kind of man was I?
Afraid to commit my life?
Afraid to be my father?
I apologized to her.
Day to day, she was sweet with me,
Her dissatisfaction flanked by faith in me
To meet on her path,
Which made little sense to me.
Years seemed to subtract from her age,
Her youth revealed in its place.
She was the wrong love,
Which was difficult to see.
She was the wrong love,
But my mother was there.
Exile of the Moon is a project and a world imagined by Shawn Knabel as a platform for introspective storytelling. The stories revolve around the conflicts between a fictional planet and its moon.
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